Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Thanks for your responses, Jen and Yankii…

Well, the ‘liking them because I’m gay’ thing is so emo of me XD

… for me, I liked Yossui (alone) before getting into ishiyoshi… and the primary point of interest for me then was the romantic angle… of course, nowadays, you guys can hear me talking all over the place about:

‘ishiyoshi as love really just represents the positive energy the exude together. And that this energy is positive because it’s genuine. Whether they are lovers or friends or anything, it deosn’t matter. What matters is that they are not faking it for the cameras, they’re not faking their connection.’

For those of you who don’t know yet, I started working full-time this week.

And to me, that just meant one thing: less time to sit in front of my computer to look for news and pictures about and of them.

When I was new in the fandom, I would sleep at 4 am and would wake up at around 5 am… I would bring my laptop to school and I would just turn it on, keep on surfing and leave it in the library (tied to a table) whenever I had class…

I went all out in the big English forums, I went to this French forum, I found a Chinese blog, I really tried to find everything… but sure enough I can’t… I spent hours trying to catch up, not to fall behind…

In a scary way, my life revolved around them… as if something big will happen while I’m not looking and miss it forever and in a way, miss half of my life… XD

Yes, by now you should know that tru_harmony = tru_crazy

Now because of work, I sleep early, and turn of my computer before leaving the house…

But they are still constantly in my thoughts…

wordsalad

I ask my students if they know of things connected to ishiyoshi and try to find out how much they know… most of them generally don’t care about h!p anymore even if they used to be fans too… I was surprised that one student (who was into h!p only around the peace-mr.moonlight “era”) didn’t know of the term “ishiyoshi”… but she said they are a great combi…. She was amazed that I knew of them… I even wrote the Japanese characters for ishiyoshi… those are the only ones I know… XD… I’d have it tattooed on my forehead if I get anymore crazier than this…

/wordsalad

I think, at this point, my question now really is, do I still love them as much as before?

Before = the time when I was more-or-less constantly updated about them

Can I love something I do not ‘know’ (like my knowledge of isn’t updated)

But then what is there to know, really?

We can’t know everything… distance, status, human limitation will keep us from that

Following this, am I really still hopeful?

… So yeah, all this time, my doubt doesn’t lie in them… I KNOW, like some ancient truth buried in my unconscious, that IshiYoshi is real, IshiYoshi is love… probably in ways that the premises are defined on a VERY personal basis…what I’m doubting is myself… my patience to keep on waiting and hoping… my humility to accept that I can’t know anything… my ability to get closer to that truth…

This is so crazy XD

I’m really sorry guys…

So yeah, I guess, the next question to ask myself is ‘what do I like about them?’

liking something is one thing… but obsessing ever that one thing is another… what is it about them that made me this crazy about them? … hmmm

2 comments:

jen said...

i agree with you tru_harmony. no matter ishiyoshi are lovers or just friends. the only thing that matters is that they are not faking it for the cameras.i love them for being real. i hate those fu*cking paparazzi!! said that they are gay.. after this scandal came out..they started to avoid each other not being close liked that used to be..wat the f*ck is their problem!!!
Q: do i still love them as much as before?
A: i bet everyone include me will use almost all of their time to search news, informations and stuffs about their idols ..but after a period of time..the 'searching time' will decrease...but the time of how long i sit in front of the computer doesnt equal to how much i love them...i keep the loving of ishiyoshi at the bottom of my heart! whoever badmouth them., i will fight for 1444 with all of my strength!! the loving of ishiyoshi hasnt changed at all!!

Q: what do i like about them?
A: honestly, i dont know why i like them. but everytime i look at their photos or shows, i smile and i feel warmth( i honestly dunno why..). i think i like them for being themselves( i dunno what i am talking about...)

P.S. i hope you can understand what i said cause english is not my mother tongue, my grammar is very poor...and this is just my opinion.

tru_harmony said...

Woah, you respond fast!

And I see, you’re really keeping tabs with my blog, thank you very much m(_ _)m

Yeah, I’m very much prepared to for violence in case anyone gives a trash-talk to ishiyoshi… ^_^ but I do get frustrated when I manage to find the time to actually sit down and look them up in the internet only to find that there isn’t anything going on XD

Yeah, I couldn’t sleep well thinking about what I like about them XD
I think I’m similar to you in that… whenever I hear Cherry which they sang on UtaDoki, I smile uncontrollably… I REALLY just can’t help it… I like the ‘ninja’ pics and screen caps XD the ones that aren’t official, or of scenes that they themselves may not have noticed happened XD… sadly there isn’t much of that going on…

But it’s nice to see them talking about each other (h&a interviews, tv appearances)

It think h&a is cool in this way that they have a legitimate reason to talk about each other all the time… Like, the interviewer would just really ask them about each other and there wouldn’t be grounds for malice because they really are in a duo…

Ah, don’t worry about your English… I think as far as your grammar is concerned, I understood everything word-for-word

Thank you very much and stick around here ^_^