Saturday, July 18, 2009

tru_wants_to_know

so yeah... i did focus on some shizz outside of here... but it definitely wasn't as ishiyoshi as i wanted it to be...

and then i realized why folks prefer blogs over forums XD

as loud and obnoxious i am... i found myself exercising discretion in the forum....so yeah... often times, i've typed shizz up, and get ready to post the long-ass ishiyoshi rant... when i just suddenly decide to click on the back button on the browser letting all those bits of characters be forgotten... because it's a public place, even if it's the ishiyoshi thread, i don't feel as free...

it's not being ashamed of being the insane whatchamacallit that i am... i'm all fucker... but i do recall talking to someone about the 'recordings' and kinda getting... hmmm... i dunno...

we rely so much on rumors, speculation and interpretation...

with every shred of news i get (that i don't post anymore XD) a strange feeling of skepticism comes upon me...

the eyes see what the heart wishes were true

then i slap myself silly

i go to my ishiyoshi shrine and pray that it wasn't just my heart wishing

we've seen most of what there is to see... and we KNOW.... but there's always been this hesitation... some doubt... ... i dunno

i've spent much of the past few months interacting with non-ishiyoshi fan people... even on my radioshow, most of the listeners aren't ishiyoshi fans... which is a bit sad... because i don't get to talk about ishiyoshi as much as i want to... because really, i feel like most of them aren't really interested in ishiyoshi... but that's okay... they're all good friends who just wanna hear me rant on air XD

anyway... so yeah... to be honest, i don't know what to talk about ishiyoshi anymore...

i can talk about anything about them, connect anything to them, speculate, do random on the spot ishiyoshi fantasy fics... but what can i talk to you guys about them?

the chatrooms has been abandoned XD...
so has been the thread...

a lot of us claim that ishiyoshi touches us on a personal level... i personally have made this claim...

but how personal is this personal level?

is it like my highschool english teacher-personal level?

how can something that we REALLY know so little of touch us in a way that it would affect our way of thinking, our daily lives?

would my life be any different had i not known of ishiyoshi?

what is it about them that i hold on to so firmly?

is it because i'm gay? would my liking of ishiyoshi be different had i not been gay?

...

...

...

i asked a friend of mine to pass yossui this message at AX

'Please listen to The Official ~IshiYoshi is Love~ Radioshow 10:00-11:00 pm (Tokyo Time) http://radio.jphip.com/ '

a good friend of his translated it into japanese and they gave her the note...

when he told me that the mission was a success, a got this sudden scared feeling...

i don't think they have the same inhibitions as, let's say, 6-7 years ago...

and i tell you that rika sounded happy that somebody outside japan said 'IshiYoshi'...

part of me was going like "It's your way of telling them 'We got your backs whatever happens'" while the other part was going like "Are you out of your fucking mind?!"

...

....

...

I got an autographed poster... and noticed their signatures...

because i'm a fucking loser who can't type shit with jap characters and my camera sucks

i'll just kinda typographically illustrate to you what it looks like... if i'm not mistaken, it's in hiragana... but i could be wrong cuz i'm all sorts of stupid ... please ignore the dots the thing is being stupid...

(in pink)....................... (in blue)
................................. anguri <3

hanguri
-------->

hangry's signature is a bit slanted so the arrow is kinda pointing to anguri's signature

anyway, it doesn't help my crazy mind that the names end with the same two characters and they signed the thing while overseas...

. . connect the dots XD

yeah, i'm blogging again... still probably not as much as i did before... a little less crazy...

less connects to whatever... the universe doesn't have to agree with the ishiyoshi XD

also, tru_harmony is also now tru_employed!

so yeah

if you folks wanna talk a bit, feel free to comment.. in fact. i want you guys to answer this question: What is IshiYoshi to you?

2 comments:

jen said...

you sounds like you are in a bad mood..
i think the liking of ishiyoshi would not be different no matter you are gay or not!
i am not gay but i still love ishiyoshi!!
what is ishiyoshi to me??
hm..i dont think i can answer this question right now...but i am sure that someday i can..
if i had not known of ishiyoshi..i think that i would not use half of my time sitting in front of my pc and search stuffs about ishiyoshi.

Yankii Heart said...

T___T... why so doubtful? Anyway, of all the 1444 fans I believe you are more entitle to be doubtful these days... others would give up easily... heck even me would give up easily but not you. Believe it or not, you ARE 1444 poster fangirl XD!!!

Now on whether or not being gay has anything to do with liking 1444: Like Jen said: "the liking of ishiyoshi would not be different no matter you are gay or not!" The same goes for me, I love them to death, but even if i were bi or gay would not make love them any less than now or even before.

About the meaning of 1444 in my life: I would say that they are love for me. Love not gender... the former has nothing to do with the later. Also they mean friendship and companionship but above all understanding.

They went through a lot together (couple or not, MM or not MM) and we can see it in the way they fight or talk to each other or refer to each other. There is this aura of best friends/sisters/lovers aroubd them that really appeals and well, even if they weren't lovers/a couple, I KNOW my world will not end.

I hope I have answer your questions somehow =.=... I tend to get lost in my own opinion XD