okay, this is definitely not ishiyoshi

recently, i haven't been very active in the ishiyoshi scene and some of your probably know why...

i've been very busy with my band as we are recording our 1st album which hopefully will come out early next year

now now, yes, some of you might be thinking 'aww, we lost tru to real life...'

but come to think of it, my real life is so real after all...

and what i mean by not real is that i don't feel 'real people' when i face and deal with them...

it's tough... be considerate and fake or be cold and real?

then again, i'm just assuming that many people can be like this

i'm not very friendly nor likeable in person, i think

actually, i am quite shy outside the net

because i feel like when i say something here, if you read it or listen to me (on my show) it IS your choice

that idea was something that took me sometime to grapple with...

of course it is a great idea when it is from that perspective...

but sometimes i do react violently to things other people say online...

so that's not being consistent

...

stay away from the painful things... it is easy on the internet, i think... but the temptation to be sadistic is so great

so shameful, tru...

anyway... going back to what i was saying, it is easy on the internet, if you don't want it, close the page... easy... with most people, it's easy to... just stay away, and live like a hermit...

but when you have to open up... when you're in a band...

i dunno...

i'm starting to feel very needy here... it's not that i want more attention to me... just the same attention as others

but it's not easy to ask for that... if they really don't feel like it, what is there to do?

but but but...

it's not easy because i HAVE to be there...

i love the music, the concept, the people in it...

it's just that they don't love me as much, i guess...

*sigh*

i do these and maybe more:

guitar

bass

death vocals

back up vocals

accounting

legal shenanigans

album layout

album art

promotions

come on time for any activities/ wait for everybody(who are always late) for more than 2 hours

all these are labor of love, i know

but come on...

i know i'm not getting any dough out of this... can't i at least get some more emotional fulfillment?

sorry, ishiyoshi fans... and thanks

cuz when the band and my work kills me enough, you guys are there to prop me back up

tru will try to work ishiyoshilly harder