tru ponders about: writing

it's a holiday today so i got some time off to think...

i was just talking to one of the brethren and i was telling her how i feel like fic writing isn't in me anymore... (okay you might think that i'm being presumptive in believing that it was in me before but it sounds more cliche-ish like this, ne?)...

i dunno... i feel like my english and outlook is very different from when i began rfp

to be honest all i want to do now is just finish the fic then game over for me in that aspect of fangirling...

*sigh*

i can't leave it unfinished...

i just can't

T_T

but whenever i try to continue... i feel wrong about how i'm writing

the words don't work

the moment isn't there

...

i was told that one of my strongest points is writing moments

my grammar is faulty, typos abound, transitions are weird, flow doesn't exist, development is awkward

screw originality XD

that can only get you so far

...

if i can't pull of a moment like how i would do them before, i dunno... it feels really wrong...

...

so yeah... there are a lot of folks who write fanfiction... some who write ishiyoshi, a few who actually post them publicly...

it was a bit stupid of me to have a go at it thinking that it was the only way to know if it is for me

because i could've just gone on with my life without posting that fic, less burden on me, i guess in hindsight...

XD

but i just felt like it and i jumped on the impulse

so yeah... i feel like mentally mutilating my back for doing this to me...

but i can't imagine how my life would have been had i not started writing...

...

i re-read a fic i wrote before RFP... this never saw completion... i only wrote 2 chaps of this then ended there... it echoes a lot of the things i put in RFP...

this was rather funny:

"A few feet away from the forest wing of the dorm building, furious members of FaYMus (Fans of Yoshizawa-clan’s only Musume, read as /famous/) Club led by an fuming club president watched with binoculars at the pair stealthily leaving the dorm building. Others took pictures of the incident."

when i re-read this i really tried to recall how i thought up 'FaYMus' ... and i couldn't remember...

*sigh*