yesterday, my rabu-rabu and I were on the train to her school (we're studying in different universities separated by a whole city)... we were standing by the door (on the side that doesn't open) since there were no more seats... the rail was pretty high up so i had to hold on to her (because i'm a head shorter than her) so that i wouldn't be flung whenever the train would speed up or slow down... i held her by the arm...
and I noticed this old woman sitting close to us with THAT look on her face... yeah... that "omg-are-those-two-*gasp?* look... we were listening to my IshiYoshi Mix of Do It! Now on my mp3 player, the right earplug on her and the left one on me... that could be why she didn't notice the woman... she's more focused than I am... I tend to be very observant of everything that happens around me... And I tend to be more sensitive about those things than my rabu-rabu... but I didn't mind the woman...
two stations later, she(the woman) started talking to this guy who was sitting beside her even it they were complete strangers (they went on the train from different stations and showed no signs of actually knowing each other before the conversation)... and she goes "Iba na talaga kabataan ngayon no?" (The youth today are so different, aren't they?) The guy affirms her statement, giving us a corner of the eye glance. And he looked at my rabu-rabu's school uniform (i don't have a uniform)... and went "tsk, tsk"...
and I wanted to f-ing explode... I gripped my rabu-rabu's arm tighter and she got the message and gave me that "no-you're-not-going-to-do-anything" look... so i let the whole thing slide after building up so much tension in myself which is really my own fault because i could've just let the thing slide right from the start but i just had to pay attention to all the judges and the prejudiced...
we weren't even doing anything rabu-rabu... can't people just see and not judge? impressions and opinions don't bother me but when someone actually imposes their personal standards of right and wrong on people, that really sends me over to the edge...
i'd prefer to be shot than be the recepient of their baseless judgements... their hypocritical assessment of my personhood...
i have my convictions and everyone has his/her own convictions but i don't see any reason why anyone's should reign supreme over others... moral standards are just institutionalized norms... because someone-from-so-long-ago-said-so... what is the real basis for those norm?
in the act of standing in the train and holding on to my rabu-rabu, i didn't hurt anyone... no one's human rights got violated... no one died...
if they didn't like what they saw, they could've just looked the other way... people can choose what they pay attention to... selective hearing, selective vision... phenomenon and epiphenomenon...
Sunday, July 6, 2008
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